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For two years, I practiced yoga three times a week and meditated when I could. I tried a couple different types of yoga and found the slow, meditation focused versions were preferable. I loved Yin yoga and Vinyasa Flow yoga. The slow progression through the poses and holding them, the discipline of listening to my breathing was relaxing. But Ashtanga is the more popular yoga class in Burlington, VT. This to me felt rushed and like a competition. I felt like everyone in the room judged me if I couldn’t keep up with the fast progression through the asanas. In flow and yin, I could focus on myself. I could imagine that I was the only person in the room and the calming music only emphasized this feeling.
This disciplined schedule of yoga made me feel healthy and strong. The meditation allowed me to clear my mind and relax. Whenever I was doing my poses or listening to podcasts like Meditation Oasis, I felt like I was briefly able to forget about homework, work, and life’s typical problems, and just focus on my breathing. I could truly clear my mind. Looking back, I think I was calmer than I am now; I definitely knew who I was or what I wanted to be. I can’t say the same now.
When I went to Dublin, I stopped practicing yoga, and only did my poses a few times throughout the semester. Dublin was also when my depression started to kick in. I felt like I had so much time on my hands because I wasn’t working and I started thinking, or really worrying, about myself. I quickly unraveled any self-esteem I had built over the years. That was a year ago and I still haven’t picked it back up. I know yoga and meditation aren’t the only solutions to finding inner happiness, but as I approach one of the most stressful times in any student’s life, graduation, I feel like now is the perfect time to try and find my balance again. I lost the discipline of exercising my mind and stretching my muscles and I need to get it back.
The last few months especially I’ve been preaching the importance of creating goals and keeping them, but I feel like a hypocrite. Sometimes what I say may seem so implausible, and that it’s easier said than done to complete any of my goals, but this is a small goal I have complete control over, and I’ve done nothing about it the last four months.
I see why gyms have a burst of gym memberships in January and then how people slowly stop going to the gym a few weeks later. It’s hard to stay disciplined, especially when you can’t plan everything in your day, but you have to make it a priority if you want to succeed. The last four months, I’ve put other stuff first when my health is the most important thing.
Is anyone else going to yoga in Burlington? I know once I’m back into it, my discipline will come back, but I need the support as I ease myself in. Like I’ve mentioned before, it’s so much easier to complete your goals when you’re with a friend.
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