Where it all began
Ever since I was little, I’ve been terrified of dying. Now I know most people are, but this went beyond normal. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, crying from nightmares, and they only got worse when my mother, Allison, was diagnosed with stage four melanoma in 2000.
On November 9, 2011, I dreamt that my mother died. It was so powerful it woke me up and I ran into my parent’s bedroom to check on her. I felt silly and went back to bed, without checking on her. The next morning I woke up and went to check on her. Her stomach was inflated, stopped forever mid breath intake, hard as stone. There was an orange line where her teeth met her lips, already showing death working its magic. Even her hair seemed to have lost its life. My crying woke my father up. I was 11, and my fear of dying only intensified. Continue reading